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April’s Stuff People Say

Stuff people say in group projects

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1. Wait, that’s my part?

This person is most likely that one person in every group who never knows about anything until the deadline, let alone begins working until literally the last minute. This person irks the rest of the people in the group but you know that communication won’t really help the situation because even if you make an effort to do so, they take forever to respond or just ignore you altogether. I mean, they could’ve finished the entire project on their own and written a heartfelt essay about the art of procrastination in the time they took to reply to your messages. The worst part is when you can clearly see they’re active on Facebook but they choose to remain oblivious to the urgent chats that you send them. If you’re going to pretend like you’ve got way too much on your hands to contribute to your group project, at least do a good job of doing it and commit to your “excuse,” because the only thing that seems to be keeping you “busy” right now is the Facebook newsfeed.

2. Guys, did you see the other groups’ projects? They’re so _____ compared to ours… I didn’t know we had to do such things but we better make some changes!

I know, I know. What other groups do and say always holds greater value than what your own group talks about. So why not make changes according to other groups’ work instead of confirming anything with the teacher? It totally makes sense that you always spend more time discussing about what other groups have done than actually make any progression with ideas generated by your own, right?

3. Let’s finish our parts by 9 *later* Actually, let’s finish by 12. *Finishes right before class begins*

Is it even considered a group project if schedules aren’t being constantly pushed back?

4. Ugh, I had to do everything by myself. Again.

If I were to create a pie chart depicting what group projects taught me, it would look something like this: 10% would be the information I took away from research, 10% would be how to work with others, 30% would be how much I hate working with others, and 50% would be how to do group projects entirely on my own.

Disclaimer: All comments are in good fun. Please don’t hate. Appreciate the humor.

Stuff people say at 2 a.m.

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1. Should I eat or not?

I believe that life is too short for one to be having this internal debate every night—too short to be helplessly listing the pros and cons of having a late night snack or feel unhappy. In the end, you’re probably going to eat that chocolate muffin anyway. You might as well cut to the chase and bite into the delectable delight from the beginning. What are calories? What is a fit body?

2. To your friend/group chat: “Hi. Is anyone awake?”

Either we have that friend or have been that friend who longs for a companion to ponder about life and important choices at 2 a.m. Humans are social beings! We all desire connection! LOL. In truth, we know that we just want to feel better about our procrastinating, worthless selves, and what better method to stop those flowing tears than to waste more time complaining with someone in the same boat as us! Chances are, you’re not the only one.

3. What. It’s already 2 a.m.?

Yes. That clock, as a matter of fact, reads 2 a.m. And you’ll be saying this again, in an hour.

4. I’m going to be fine. I have the whole night to finish my work.

And you have never been more wrong, believing with a religious fervor in the misconception that you will actually stay up to complete assignments for the next school day. Personally, I go by my motto, “Due tomorrow, do tomorrow,” because we all have a choice in life. By that, I take a very holistic approach to life, since not completing this homework assignment right now may come along with some consequences in the near future, but it definitely won’t be a concern in the grand scheme of things.

Disclaimer: All comments are in good fun. Please don’t hate. Appreciate the humor.

Stuff eegwa and moongwa people say

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*Eegwa: interest in science and mathematics

*Moongwa: interest in literature and arts

1.Eegwa: Oh my goodness my math average is so low… Am I even eegwa?

Hey, as they say, success isn’t the key to happiness! Except for when you’re in a school where academic excellence is deemed as “success…” And except for when society is built upon competitive attitudes toward achieving good grades…

  1. Moongwa to eegwa person: Why do you even enjoy math and science? It’s so inapplicable to daily life…

As a moongwa person myself, I totally get your point. Honestly, what are the chances I’m going to use sigma notation for my benefit in the future?

  1. Eegwa to moongwa: You just claim you’re moongwa only because you’re not good at eegwa.

Well I admit that personally, there is a certain truth to that statement. But also, we don’t always enjoy things just because we have a decent ability to do them, even though my abomination for math and science would have remained, regardless of my abilities.

  1. Both: Am I even moongwa or eegwa? Do I even have any interests?

Chill. This existential crisis is an organic part of growing up! There’s nothing wrong with interests that overlap in the subjects of moongwa or eegwa. And in the end, moongwa and eegwa shouldn’t label you and confine you to certain areas of interest!

Disclaimer: All comments are in good fun. Please don’t hate. Appreciate the humor.

Stuff teachers say to students

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  1. Student: “May I go to the bathroom?”

Teacher: “ Now? You should have gone during break time.”

Well, I don’t know about you teachers but we students don’t plan out our urinating schedules. I would have gone during break time if I knew I had to.

  1. Teacher: “Come on, guys! Didn’t you learn this in sixth grade?”

Sorry, but I can’t even remember what I had for dinner last night. Unfortunately, I can’t seem to recall off the top of my head the first step of mitosis.

  1. Teacher: If you study, you’ll do fine for the test.

How reassuring. And how is it that every time you say so, I end up having to retake that test you say we’ll do fine on?

  1. Teacher: “Don’t pack up your things yet. We still have twenty three seconds of class left!”

I’m deeply inspired by the fact that you’re devoted enough to get us listening to what you have to say for the last thirty seconds of class! I’m sure that these twenty three seconds will truly be life changing.

  1. Student: “Can you explain this concept for me? I don’t think I get it.”

Teacher: “What do you think?”

I think it’s time that answering questions with a question comes to an end because frankly, I’m not thinking about much when I don’t understand something. I need answers!

Disclaimer: All comments are in good fun. Please don’t hate. Appreciate the humor.

 

Stuff people say in foreign language class

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  1. Did you get what [insert language teacher here] said?

Faces contorted with confusion, eyes darting from person to person, and frantically whispering to one another to get at least the gist of what is going on are all too familiar scenes. It’s okay. We all know you say you “understood” just to make your teacher go away when really, you have no idea. Are you about to ask your neighbor what your teacher just told your class? Tough luck, chico/男孩子. 

  1. Do Spanish/Chinese speakers even use these words in their daily lives?

Let’s be real. When are we ever going to discuss what our best friends are like outside of Spanish or Chinese class? What we actually remember at the end of four or five years of foreign language study are mostly swear words, not trivial details like how to conjugate verbs.

  1. May I go to the bathroom?

The only thing we can say with confidence in foreign language class. 

  1. Spanish/Chinese Teacher: Please speak only Spanish/Chinese in this classroom. English or Korean is unacceptable.

Come on, teacher. I mean, I face enough struggles even in my English class, and on top of that, I already take another foreign language class: pre-calculus. 

  1. Spanish/Chinese Teacher: Ok class, please remove all your belongings from your desks except for a pencil and eraser. We’ll be taking the quiz in a few minutes. Student to other student: Did I hear incorrectly, or did he/she just say, “quiz?”

Ugh, every foreign language class in a nutshell. Don’t worry too much. You’re not the only one failing the upcoming assessment!

Disclaimer: All comments are in good fun. Please don’t hate. Appreciate the humor.

Stuff people say during summer break

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  1. What’s the summer assignment for [insert AP class here] again?

If you’re not asking this a few days before the first day of school, something’s definitely wrong with you. What are you trying to do—pretend like you got a grip on your life or something?

  1. It’s 4 a.m. again. When will I sleep?

Have you spent the whole day on your computer again, watching season after season of the next best TV show? Same. Talk about productivity!

  1. Friend 1: Hey I haven’t seen you in forever! We should meet up soon.

Friend 2: Yeah it’s been so long! I miss you…

Aw, how sweet. Planning to catch up with an old friend you haven’t seen in a while? Yeah, I’m sure that’ll happen. Didn’t you talk about “meeting up” for the past few summers? At least you can feel better about yourself by pretending to care.

  1. Oh my gosh, summer’s here! Time to get my summer body ready!

Uh, we know you ate a whole bag of chips at 1 a.m. after stuffing your face at a buffet. By the way, exercise doesn’t mean moving to the other side of your bed with your laptop. Only 1,000 more calories to burn before you exercise off just your midnight snack.

  1. What the heck. School starts in a few days?

Remember when you were exclaiming about how summer break was starting in just a few days? Well, say goodbye to sleeping in and say hello to waking up before the sun peeks out every day for the rest of the year! Oh, and you can’t forget the countless number of days you’ll pull an all-nighter. Coffee is your new best friend. Happy new school year!

Disclaimer: All comments are in good fun. Please don’t hate. Appreciate the humor.

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