Single teen: Oh my god, nobody wants me. I’m going to be alone for the rest of my life.

Please. You’re a teenager, for crying out loud. You have plenty of time to get it on in the future, if that’s what you’re worried about. If all fails, you can enjoy the perks of being a single cat lady, something I hope to become!

Infatuated teenagers: He/she is so hot! I love him/her.

Wow! That hot body shows so much about his/her personality! How ironic, considering the fact that we always preach about how it doesn’t matter what we look like on the outside so long as we’re beautiful on the inside. If that person were not conveniently equipped with physical beauty would he/she still mean so much to you?

Lovelorn youngsters: I’m so depressed. He/she doesn’t care about me, but he/she’s my everything, etc; etc;

You must have a pretty pointless life if someone at SIS of all places is your everything because he/she is a bit more attractive than everyone else. And as you know, he/she doesn’t even care about you. Why bother? As the saying goes, there are plenty of other fish in the sea. But go ahead and carry on being a self-pitying, crying wimp—no one will bother putting up with you.

Clueless guy: How should I ask a girl out? Face-to-face, or chat?

Oh, chat, definitely! How romantic! Those passionate emoticons, that poetic, minimalistic chat language…all these make us girls weak to the knees.

Girls: Why aren’t there any hot guys at SIS? There’s nobody I want to date.

A more important question we might want to ask ourselves: why aren’t there any intelligent, perceptive guys who can see how beautiful our shallow minds are? It’s funny how we often accuse guys of being unable to look past the exterior. We girls are guilty, too. 

Disclaimer: All comments are in good fun. Please don’t hate. Appreciate the humor.