You can’t bring up drugs or alcoholism in a school publication. Even a music review! This is a school, a learning environment.

Yes, we understand. We high school students are pure and virginal and we must do everything to avoid corrupting our fragile little minds!

Tiger Times: This article will spark controversy! It will provoke the anger of the student body! We must be sensitive, considerate journalists.

I admire our industry! Who are we kidding, though? Hardly anyone reads our work.

Advisers and administrators: Violence? Blood?! Oh God, the horror! This can’t be published!

In class we are forced to read about the (spoiler alert!) death of Piggy, the gory sexual fantasies of Winston Smith, and mankind’s violent history. In our spare time we play violent video games, watch “Game of Thrones,” entertain dark thoughts when we see that 90 percent on Powerschool, and (figuratively) plot murder against our competitors. We still aren’t okay with all that cranberry juice, however. This is an educational environment, after all.

Tiger Times exercises the right to report on and editorialize all topics, events or issues, including those unpopular or controversial, insofar as they affect or interest the school, community, nation and world.

I suppose that explains why we aren’t allowed to write about conflicts between the two Koreas. Or our tensions with Japan. Or the East Sea naming dispute. Or stickers and new textbooks! Or underage [censored], or [censored], or [censored], or our opinions on controversial policies by the Korean government.

And of course, that explains why we weren’t allowed to write about revenge porn last year. (Oh wait, because apparently “there is no such thing; the naked human body is an art form!” Continue spreading the art, creeps)

All comments were written in good fun, but were censored. Please don’t hate. Appreciate the administration.